Rants and rants

Woah it feels like ages since I last updated this blog with a solid written post. I've been posting videos on here and I'm sorry to my readers! I know not everyone likes videos, some of you might like reading my posts rather than seeing videos here on my blog. I apologize! I'm not going to give any excuses because I really don't know why. But anyways, I'm here now, sitting at my dining table (this is my favorite studying/doing homework spot), with my hair up, a cup of my favorite tea (Ahmad's Strawberry flavored tea) by my side, a sweater & sweatpants and my homework & binder are scattered in front of me. Seriously guys, I'm writing this with my hand on my homework, literally. 

I just thought of my readers here and I don't know. I miss writing here for you guys! I'm writing this without thinking of what topic I'm going to write today, which is definitely not a good idea because hey, now I'm mumbling pointless things....

Well, I guess I'll just talk to you guys about what I've been up to recently. I can sense that this post is going to be boring but I'm still going to go on with this anyway. So bear with me!

First off, it's Saturday today and I've been on a week holiday from school. It's 

 my mid semester break which I was really excited and was looking for this break all semester long and now it's coming to an end. I start back on Monday :( 

I don't know why but it has only been 7 weeks of this semester, but I feel like it's been more than that. I guess because I'm in my 3rd year and the workload is just... I don't even know how to describe it. It's really A LOT. It's too many to the extend that I chose to just ignore them. I know that's probably not the smartest thing to do because now I'm regretting it. I have so much to catch up on. With me taking German I class.. that's not helping either. I thought language would be easier and fun, so I chose that subject instead of like, technical classes. I was totally wrong. Learning German is fun, but who am I kidding? It's not easy. AT ALL. It has formal and informal uses of verbs and the verbs have different spelling and pronunciation depending on what gender is the subject. Yes, guys. Everything in German has a gender of its own. Even tables have a gender! It's really interesting to know all these things, but you know, with my other subjects I'm taking this semester, I feel like I have a massive burden to carry all through out the semester. I have a 5 credit hour subject, which is the hardest for me. My group and I were assigned to develop a 10 or more acres of land in Pahang. Assignments are mandatory, I get it, but in another state? That's totally far from what I expected. So I had to fly alone to Pahang, as my other group mates actually live there in Pahang, except for one. She took the bus to Pahang, so yeah. If you follow my Twitter, you probably read my tweet about flying alone. I didn't mind flying alone but I was kind of nervous to be completely honest. That was my first time flying alone, I would be lying if I say I wasn't paranoid and I checked my backpack a gajillion times to make sure whether my tickets were safely tucked in there, whether or not I kept my ID after the check in counter and all the 'what-ifs' were running through my mind. I swear, everyone around me looks 99% more evil or have evil plans for me when I'm alone rather than when I'm with my family or friends. But it went pretty well, so I'm kind of proud of myself for surviving a flight alone.

Another subject is my thesis subject. This one.. I don't know how to start. I'm supposed to think of a topic that I can write a book on, complete with all the researches and surveys and stuff. I'm not good at these things. So I'm so scared. If you guys have any tips or anything like that about thesis, let me know in the comment! I haven't even think of a topic yet and that really scares me to death. 

Other than those depressing subjects, I am also very stressed out because of my Integrated Project. Basically an Integrated Project is where the whole class choose a place outside the country (or inside. Depending on the students and lecturers. But it's of course, a lot more fun to choose overseas) to carry out a project related to our major. My class decided on New Zealand since last year. Which turned out to be a huge disappointment when the lecturers told us we're going to Vietnam instead. I know right.. Don't even want to talk about it. It's just something I'm forcing myself to go because it's a part of my responsibility in order to graduate. So... yeah. Vietnam.. Ok.

Okay, I really think this post has complaints and whines written all over it. So I'm stopping now before anyone gets annoyed, if you're not already are. But anyways, I just feel like writing this post because sometimes I just can't hold it in to myself. With Zahir gone, it's really hard for me. Every single time, he's the one who can listen to my whines about school or about friends. But now, with him thousands of miles away, I don't really know who to complain to. I guess I have you guys? Whether or not my readers want to read all these craps, that's a totally different story but I feel a lot better now. Like something cleared off my chest, just by typing all these things out here. So if you're reading this specific line that I'm typing now, you're truly amazing because that means you've read until this sentence. That means a lot to me, so thank you! :)

I hope you guys aren't annoyed with me yet! Haha, I promise more fashion, beauty and other more interesting than my feelings posts will be up soon! In the mean time, bare with me! I appreciate it and I love you guys!!