The Story of My YouTube Channel

I started my YouTube Channel in September 2011. That's like, almost 3 years ago. Not as long as my beloved blog, of course but you know, I thought I was born to write on my blog.

But then I found YouTube. 

I know I shouldn't be bias or anything but since I started my YouTube channel, I've been thinking that maybe this is what I was born to do.

Youtube.

Making videos about beauty, fashion and other random things.

I love and enjoy making videos. It's a lot of work but I never seem to mind it. Hours and hassle of setting up the camera and props to film the video, hours and hours spent on editing the video, brainstorming on what videos I should do next... you know, these things make me happy though it is a whole lot of hard work. Sometimes I even spend 48 hours to edit a video that is less than 8 minutes long just to make it right and perfect. The sleepless nights I spent because I couldn't get enough of editing are so so so worth it when you guys enjoyed the videos I made. I don't know how to explain it, but it really feels like it's my love. My passion. Like I can't get enough of filming and editing.

If I have a choice, I would definitely film and edit all day every day but of course, my channel is not that stable for me to quit my job and do this full time just yet. Maybe one day, who knows but for now, I'm just enjoying all that I can. What irritates me the most about being a Malaysian Youtuber/beauty guru is that Malaysia is not really big on YouTubers. I mean of course there are a few YouTubers that are known internationally like Jinny Boy but there's no beauty guru community here in Malaysia like they have in The States, especially LA. Not that I know of anyway. I know there are some beauty bloggers community and such but I have never heard of Malaysian beauty YouTubers community here in Malaysia. If you know any community of that sort, let me know so I can check them out.

Sometimes when I watch some of my favorite beauty gurus doing this full time, I feel like packing my bags and fly to LA to do this full time too because I really really love doing this. I mean, I like my job but if I were to be given a choice, I would definitely choose something I'm more passionate about which are beauty and fashion. I started my channel out of interest, not for the benefits like free stuff and money, while I accepted my current job because I like real estate but I like money more. You see the difference? If I were to do this YouTube thing full time, I would be doing it because I love it more than I love the money but of course, doing something you really love and getting paid for it sounds a whole lot better. But still... you get what I mean.

Anyway, of course when I ventured myself in making videos on YouTube, not everything is fun and games all the time. This is when I know who is there to support me and who's not. I got insulted a lot, being in the YouTube scene. Blogging is not as bad because people can't really see you. They don't see you talking, they don't really know how you act and talk, they only see your writings. Your words. So they don't really have any strong foundation to insult you. All the years that I blogged, I've never received any strong insults but when I started YouTube.... man, the insults and negative comments really got to my head. I almost gave up, I almost deleted my channel. But then I realized everything you do in this world, there will always be people who criticize you and hate what you do, the way you talk and the way you act. You can't please everyone. You can't always impress everyone. So the best thing to do is just be yourself and do what you feel is right for you. If people like you and what you do, then you know they like you for who you are. Not because you are doing what they want you to do. I even cried some days reading negative comments back in the day. I even had friends who were always making fun of my videos. I always laugh a long with them and acted like it didn't hurt my feelings. But it did. To have your own friends making fun of what you like doing? Can I really call them my friends then? I started to stay away from these people because I know they will only give negative vibes into my life if I keep them close to me. And guess what?

That. Was. The. Best. Decision. I've. Ever. Made. In. My. Life.

After much support and positive motivation by a few people in my life and from some of you as well, I decided to let my channel grow. And here it is, 3 years later, I'm still making videos! Alhamdulillah, my channel has definitely grow. Slowly but surely. I'm so glad I kept going instead of giving up when things got difficult. I have received a lot of opportunities and one of the best ones was of course, being a part of Style Haul. But that's not even the best part yet. The best part is to have you guys. All of you who watch my videos, subscribing to me, leaving me comments so I can improve and keep going in the future. You all are truly a blessing for me. I like knowing that I made someone's day when I upload a new video or the fact that my videos motivate some of you in some weird ways. I am happy to receive emails and comments saying that I changed their lives and I inspired them. To think of me being an inspiration is beyond this world. I would never have thought I would make an impact in anyone's life. I also had encountered a situation where a Mom approached me asking whether I can come meet her 4 year old daughter because her daughter watches my videos repeatedly, every single day. She even imitates what I do in my videos. I was shocked hearing this of course, exciting but scary at the same time. Scary  in the sense that it made me think back of what I did in all my videos. This is a 4 year old child we're talking about, I wouldn't want to be a bad influence to anyone, especially little kids.

So I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you. Without you guys' support, I won't even be making videos right now. Because of you and the few people in my life who support me made me realized I don't have to please everyone. I just have to be myself and do what I like doing with some effort, everything will turn out well. I also learned that all those negative comments and insults people throw at me are nothing. I shouldn't be affected by them and I should take that as a challenge or turn them into something positive that I can use to further motivate myself.

So, THANK YOU.
*virtual hugs*