My Engagement : The Preparation

Okay.. how do I even start?

I'm married now and I still haven't posted anything about my engagement preparation like I promised in my previous post. Not even gonna try to explain myself this time.

So here goes.... the long delayed post. 

My engagement preparation was simple and not that hectic. Everything was smooth sailing; from the dais to the hantaran, the catering to the dress... everything was how I imagined it to be. I didn't want an extravagant ceremony, just a small gathering for family and close friends. There are several important things to decide on before the engagement :

1. Venue 

I chose my house because it's the most convenient place for a small group of people.

2. Guests 

This links to the first item, which is the venue. I made sure the number of guests suits the area of my house so it won't be too crowded during the ceremony.

3. Catering 

I think food for the guests is one of the most important part of any event. I hired someone who my family trusts and they have done so many events for my whole family. So we know their food is amazing. If you want to try my catering, you can check out their Facebook : One Adnor Catering

4. Theme

Decide on what color theme you and your family can agree on so everyone can wear the same color. Some people prefer to have different colors for the bride to be and the family but as for me, I decided to have the same color as my family, which is grey. You can never go wrong with grey!

5. Door gifts

My door gift was a simple one. Just butter cookies that are shaped like an engagement ring. It was so pretty, so sayang to give out to people! Haha. My aunt is a baker so I hired her to make the cookies. I took inspiration from a picture that I found on Pinterest :

And I would say mine turned out pretty much the same with the inspiration picture. I have to credit my aunt for doing such a good job. It even tasted good!

6. Dress

I think this is most girls' favorite part. Not for me though. I am not the kind of person who likes to browse what design I should do and what not. So this is the hardest part I had to do. I decided to just rent a grey dress and everything will be settled. Who knew people don't wear GREY on their weddings or engagements??? Grey dress is so hard to find okay! 

So like it or not, I had to buy the grey material and made a custom made dress (something that I told Amin that I would never do for the engagement because I didn't want to spend so much for the engagement). When I told Amin that I need to buy the material, he kept quite but his face says it all. I was so close to punching his "I knew it" face. Pfffft.

7. Dais

I decided to not spend so much on dais but dais are so expensive. If you can find one that's below RM1k, you're lucky enough. I'm one of the lucky ones because I managed to find someone on Instagram who charges only RM180 - RM550. For an engagement, that range make sense to me.

 Mine is from @buaianberendoihzc on Instagram

8. Hantaran

Hantaran can be confusing. So I did so much research before deciding on the hantarans.  Based on my research, the number of dulang should be odd numbers and the girl should give additional 2 dulangs more than the amount of dulangs the guy gives. For example, Amin gave me 5 dulangs for our engagement, so I gave him 7. 

My hantaran to Amin

Amin's hantaran to me. I love the colors they used!

What you want to put on your dulangs is another story. As for me, it wasn't  that hard because both my parents are from Perak and our tradition is the dulangs for an engagement are only food, except for the material for our solemnization ceremony and sirih junjung. Everything else was food. I don't know about other states, but basically in Perak, that's how we do it. 

9. Make Up

Ahh, every girls' worry. As for me, I didn't have to worry because I never trust any other make up artists other than my good friend, Noor. Her touch blends in with my face so well that I couldn't deny how good I look every time she touches my face. Haha. If you are looking for a good make up artist and doesn't cost a bomb, you can check out her Instagram : @athirah3110

10. Hand Bouquet

This is something I had problems with. Initially, I didn't want to have hand bouquet because I simply don't like them. I don't like flowers generally (except for hydrangeas though), so to have flowers in my hands the whole ceremony just made me cringe. I told my Mom about it and she was okay at first. But on the day itself, I found out she went to the florist to pick up the hand bouquet that she ordered like a few days before the ceremony. Pfffttt Mom is so sneaky when it comes to having her way. I still thanked my Mom though because if I didn't have the baby breaths in my hands on that day, the pictures wouldn't turn out that great. Which brings us to the next and last item!

11. Photography/Videography

Honestly speaking, although I love posting my ootds on Instagram, I don't really know how to judge a picture when it comes to professional photography. Whether the lighting is good or whether this photographer knows how to edit or not. I have zero knowledge in this area and this is the reason why I don't really care about who takes the pictures on my engagement day. I know most people really think this is the most important thing, especially on one of the most important day of your life but I see it as just something I should have at my engagement but I'm not that fussy about how the pictures will turn out. However, my pictures turned out fine. My photographer on that day was Fydo. You can check his Instagram here : @fydography

These are some of the pictures Fydo took of us. I love these picture of Amin and I. You don't usually see us being this sweet. Haha.

By the end of the day, I was happy and content with everything on that day. Except the fact that I have a site visit at 7am to 7pm the day after. I was basically a zombie the whole day at the site visit, even when I had 3 cups of coffee. Zzzz.

Getting Engaged to the Love of My Life

I'm pretty sure most of you know this but to those who don't, I'm officially engaged to Amin. Remember him in this post?

I got engaged in April, so that's like 5 months ago but I left my blog for so long that I always procrastinate writing a post because truth be told, I think I've lost the ability to write. Everyone can write but a few can write an interesting post. And I think I've done a pretty good job in the past (self praise is no praise, I'm aware haha but I'm just saying I can at least get some of you to read my blog in the past, so that must mean something...) but then I don't know what happened. When I logged in my blogger account and clicked on the "new post" tab, I blanked. I couldn't write a single sentence!

However, I think I'm slowly getting back on track now. Hence why I'm updating you guys on my engagement! My blog readers have been here since the first day, so you guys definitely deserve an update. This post will be solely about the man I agreed to and how it all started. The preparation and the day itself on the other hand will be in separate posts because they all deserve their own posts. 

Amin was a friend whom I always see as friendly, funny, talkative, very helpful and can be friends with everyone (which brings out the jealous side of me multiple times. Hehe). Never have I expected that he'd be this important to me, that he'll be the love of my life and my future husband. Alhamdulillah, I am so grateful that Allah blessed me with a guy like him because he can guide me and complements me like no one ever could. I've been in love before but not even one person has made me feel the way Amin does. It just feels easy with him, like everything is smooth and there's just no dramas with him. I also find myself respecting him and that means a lot if you know me. It's not like I don't respect people, but I tend to overrule my partner in my past relationship. I know it's not good but I still did it anyway and I realized that I was such a bad girlfriend. I don't know why and how to explain, but with other guys, I don't feel like they can guide me.

It all started so sudden with Amin. We were just a couple of friends, only saw each other when our group decided to hang out. We never really had time alone, always surrounded by our group of friends. So I don't really know why or how this friendship was triggered into something more than just friends. But what I remembered is that Amin asked me out casually one day but I turned him down. Wasn't proud of it but I used to be this career oriented girl, where I only think about my work and nothing else. I guess that was how I got over my previous relationship; by working my head off. I wake up at 4am every weekday, drove to office by 6am and work until like 8pm or 9pm. That was my daily routine. On weekends on the other hand, I had exhibitions most of the weekends so that means I work from morning till night on weekends too. My dad told me once that I had no life, no friends. I also had this principle which I still hold on to, never go out alone with a guy if you are not interested in the guy. Well, I didn't even give my mind or heart to think about how I feel about this guy and I turned him down because my priority was my job, job and job.

After that "rejection", Amin kept on texting me telling me things about his interests, his daily life and his family. At first I wasn't interested, to be honest. I was not thinking too much about it and only reply when I had the time to actually sit down and go through my messages on my phone, which was usually close to midnight when I was about to go to sleep.

And then, one day. he asked me out again. I already tendered my resignation to my MD by that time and was feeling carefree. So I decided to consider it. By "consider" I mean asking people whether or not I should say yes to this date. There was just something about the way he asked this time that made me feel like I needed to say yes. He actually asked properly instead of his first "Where are you now? I'm at The Curve. Let's hang out". This time, he was way more proper and direct with "Are you free next week? I wanna bring you out on a proper date". I did NOT melt with his words, mind you. I was taken aback with how direct he was. So I asked some of my close friends whether I should say yes and most said yes with the reason "You work all the freaking time. We hardly see you have fun and be happy anymore after your ex. Doesn't hurt to try." By this time, I was 80% sure I would say yes.

I knew my Mom would be the answer to all this doubt. So I asked my Mom. She said I should just try to  go on this date to see if he's really genuine about wanting to know me better. I always believe mothers know best. And I was damn right about trusting my mom's instinct.

It's been almost two years and Amin never fails to make me laugh. Every single time. Even when I am upset about him or something else, he always managed to make me laugh. And that is what matters to me. A guy who completes me, who can guide me, keeps me grounded, keeps reminding me about the real world and brings out the best in me. I am so grateful that Allah has crossed our paths.

Now we are engaged and getting married in less than two months.

I'm so nervous, excited, anxious and everything else I cannot even put in words.

May Allah ease this journey for us, InsyaAllah.

This is such a sappy post but I couldn't help myself. My engagement preparations will be in the next engagement post and I promise you that post will be more cheerful than this one. Stay tuned!

Turning a Quarter Century Old with A Heart Attack

So this is how it feels like being old.

It feels like.... nothing.

Well, the difference is that I don't really wait for the clock to strike 12.00AM anymore. I didn't even care what time it was,  I needed my beauty sleep! I slept at 10PM the night before my birthday. I used to stay up late just to see if my family has a surprise planned for me and sometimes I stayed up late just to read all my friends' wishes on WhatsApp, Facebook and all the social medias I have. I have been pretty busy with work, my dissertation and my wedding preparation that I honestly almost forgot about my birthday. It wasn't until Fara texted me saying "Your birthday is in a few hours!". Then it hit me right it the face.

Why don't I care about my birthday anymore? Birthday used to be the biggest deal of my life. Birthdays are my thing. Now I started to think that birthdays are just birthdays. You have birthdays every year. What's so special about it?

WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. ME.

Is it because I'm old? I don't think so. So, why didn't I feel excited? I didn't even look forward to it, to be honest. Maybe because I was (still am) too busy with my life that I think there are so many other important things that I need to take care of that my own birthday seems like it's nothing. 

On the night before my birthday, I honestly didn't remember. I went to sleep at 10.30pm because I was so tired and I had a really bad day that day. One thing you have to know about me is that I always sleep earlier than usual when I had a rough day because I think sleeping it off is better than just staying up thinking about how bad the day had been. So I texted my fiancé good night and went to sleep without even waiting for his reply. 

I was in a deep sleep when someone knocked on my door. Was sleepy and grumpy, so I opened up the door with a growl. Saw my sister, Nina's panic face. Her hands were shaking and her eyes were wild. Something bad must have happened and all the grumpiness went away, replaced by worry. According to Nina, she saw someone, a shadow standing outside her bedroom window. She said she went into her room and went straight to the toilet but she saw a shadow through her white curtains. OMG, just writing about it made my heart thump right now. It was so scary to hear, but being the bigger sister, I had to show that I was brave to protect her. But I couldn't face that alone, so I dragged her to our parents room to call Dad. However, our Dad wasn't in the room. I heard the TV downstairs, so I knew he was downstairs watching the midnight news like he always does. So I had no choice but to wake Mom up and told her the whole thing. Mom face was shocked but the three of us tip-toed to Nina's room, which is just next to mine. I slowly pushed her door and there it was. 

A freaking shadow, just like how she described. Tall and buff. I imagined the person standing outside the window to be scary looking and have the baddest intention. 

My hands were shaking and I can hear my own heartbeat through my own ears, I'm not even kidding. 

"Thump. Thump. Thump."

Subtle knocks on the window.

My heart jumped. 

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go to the window and see who was there and what did he/she want but I was too shaky and scared that the person had a weapon. So I told Nina to run downstairs to call our Dad while Mom and I stayed to make sure the person stays there. I hugged Mom while waiting for Dad. 

Dad came up with a torchlight and went straight to the window. He looked and said "maybe it was just a cat because there's no one here." My eyes widened and with a shaky voice, I told my Dad, "it couldn't be just a cat! We saw a tall shadow standing right there and the person even knocked on the window!". Confusion plastered on my Dad's face and he held his hand up, motioning to open the window. I ran to him and asked him to stop because I was scared that the person attacks him straight. As I ran to the window, I was too late. Dad already opened the window and I saw a hand reaching inside. I screamed, wanting to pull Dad when I saw pink balloons.... And curls.

Yeap, it was Amin.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE.

Seriously. What did I do to deserve such heart attack?!

When I said the shadow was tall and buff...

Well, I take that back.

More like tall and fluffy. Pftttttt.

Meeting His Friends?!

Okay so this weekend it's all about meeting important people and being all nervous about it.

For both Amin (yes, guys we are calling him by his name now! Oh in case you're wondering, he's the new guy I talked about in this post) and I. 

Amin and I spent the whole day with my Mom for the first time on Friday. But my Mom was an easy stage to pass. He only had to make her laugh like a mad woman (which he is really good at. Making people laugh, I mean) and yeap, approved. Now Mom can't stop talking about him at home. Amin this.... Amin that..... 

Even I don't say his name that much. Pffffttttt.

On Saturday, he invited me to his friend's birthday party. I have all the reasons to be nervous about this one ;

1. These people have known him since he was that "naughty boy" in school. They practically grew up with him. Hence, they are the most important friends I need to get along with.

2. He told me this group of friends is really protective when it comes to who he's dating. 

3. Following to the previous point, there was an "incident" with the previous girl he was seeing and they were not really fond of her.

4. He was really serious when he told me that his friends wanted to inspect me and shoot me with questions before they decide whether they'll approve me or not.

5. NEED I SAY MORE????

So it's only logic that I want his most important friends to like me right??? I wasn't being paranoid okay??? 

When the day arrived, I wasn't nervous. Pfffttt not at all! *roll eyes* One of his friends said she can feel my body shaking when she took a picture with me. Yea guys, that's how not nervous I am....

FINE.

I WAS TERRIFIED OKAY?! There I said it. I was nervous because I really don't want his friends to disapprove me. Their opinions matter a lot, so of course I want to make a good impression. Anyway, everything turned out fine despite all the drama I had in my head prior to meeting them. They are the most relaxed and funniest people to hang around with. But Amin certainly did not exaggerate when he told me they will inspect me with questions. 

"Where did you meet Amin?"

"How did you meet him?"

"How did he work his charm on you?"

"How did you fall in love with him?"

"Where did you graduate from?"

"What major did you take?"

"Where are you working right now?"

"What's your plan for the future?"

"Where's Amin's mole?" (I really don't know the answer to this and never thought of it but I'm curious to find out....)

And the list goes on and on.

But the most simple but interesting question : "If you really love Amin, what does he like?"

My answer?

"He likes me."

They all went "Woahhhh" and gave me a full 100 points for that one. No more questions asked. Hehe.

Phewwww, stage one ; PASSED. *wipe sweat off my forehead*

Some of the pictures his friends uploaded with the sweetest captions ☺️

Sunday night on the other hand, it was his turn to be nervous. I've been planning to bring my family out for dinner along with Amin. Since my little brother is back from his boarding school this week, I figured why not do it this weekend. Amin passed the Mom level. Now it's the DadBrotherSister level, which explains why he was so nervous. I enjoyed seeing him nervous though because he made me nervous the day before. Hehe.

However, Amin is not the kind of person who shows his nervousness.

"Are you nervous to see my family tonight, baby?"

"Of course I am! It's your family!"

But that night, his face was as cheerful as always. He chatted the night away with everyone at the table. He made his usual jokes and made us laugh. 

Nervous? Yeah right 😒

His meet up with my family was a boring one to tell because there was no drama at all.  Everything was easy for him. BOOOHHH-RINGGGG *yawn*

I'm still thankful that all the ice breaking sessions this weekend went so well!

Ayeen Advises #2 : Relationship Feat. Iffah & Nicole (& Fatin)!

❀ I hope this video was helpful & fun to watch! ❀

♥ Watch my previous video if you haven't!:

http://youtu.be/NYHCEULbp8U

Watch Iffah and I did the blindfold make up challenge together! : http://youtu.be/TcrdlkVV41Q

♥ BUY YOUR OWN ACRYLIC MAKE UP ORGANIZERS HERE! : http://little-hellion.blogspot.com

Iffah's Channel : http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9JAKUyeCA71toO9Zz-Kh5g

Iffah's Twitter : https://twitter.com/cholerico8

Nicole's Twitter : https://twitter.com/tnicole91

Fatin's Twitter : https://twitter.com/fatinmuhiddin

Disclaimer : This video is not sponsored in any way!

Wanna be friends? My links are down below :

Follow me on Twitter : http://twitter.com/#!/AyeenK

Follow my blog : http://www.ayeenkadir.com

Formspring me : http://www.formspring.me/ayeenkadir

Follow me on Instagram : ayeenkadir

Like my Facebook Page : www.facebook.com/ayeenkdr

xo, Ayeen K.

The First To Tie The Knot!

Yes, I’ve been busy. Like, super busy.

No, you don’t have to remind me of how dusty this blog is.

And no, you don’t have to tell me how bad I am to have neglected this blog for so long.

But yes, I do apologize!

Anyway, I am still busy with my Thesis and stuff but something big happened. I really think this deserves a whole post on my blog. The big news is….

 *drum rolls, please*

 LOLA IS GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!

Well, for some of us who are close to her knew this way before she announced it to the world but we all kept it a secret. If you don’t know who this Lola is, she is a very dear friend of mine from high school. Well, from primary school actually but we got close in high school and she has been my best friend ever since. I couldn’t believe my ears when she announced to us she was getting married! Actually, she didn’t exactly “announced” it, it was more of a hand gesture. She showed her ring and it finally hit us. Lola is the first to tie the knot in our group of friends! Words can’t describe how happy I am for her!

I just got back from her bachelorette party actually. Which, I think is more appropriate to be called a bridal shower than a bachelorette “party”. There were no strippers, no dirty games or naughty presents. The nastiest thing at the dinner was the cake and that was it. We are a bunch of angels okay? So, don’t you worry. Haha. 

KIDS, CLOSE YOUR EYES!!

Pardon me for posting this picture of the cake. It's just too cute to not be in this post. 
One of the bridesmaids, Farah, makes the prettiest cakes! If you want to place an order, you can visit her Instagram : baketimestory

All of her bridesmaids planned this quiet dinner for her at Flora Café at AmpWalk. The restaurant was a really nice restaurant with amazing decorations. It was such a satisfaction seeing Lola’s face when she saw all of us at the table, waiting for her and we made her wear the Sereni & Shentel’s veil the whole night. Seeing her in front of me made me feel sad but happy for her at the same time. I just can’t believe this little friend of mine is getting married and she’ll be living in London with her soon to be husband. How time flies.

Edora and I were talking about how we couldn’t believe that one of us in our group is getting married. Like, for real. We didn’t really put much thought on it when she told us, but being at the bridal shower just now….. it all suddenly came hitting us on our faces. THIS. IS. REALLY. HAPPENING.

LOLA IS GETTING MARRIED IN 2 DAYS!!!!!!!

We were freaking out. In a good way though.

This is just the bridal shower. Let’s just hope I won’t cry my eyes out during her reception!

High School Girls

Everyone knows how my social life is. My life revolves around my family, mainly. And then there are Zahir and Fara. Yes, it stops there. I'm known to be such a snob when it comes to keeping other friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm friendly and I love meeting new people and I love my other friends too, I swear. It's just that, I'm not that type of person who can keep up. Nowadays people go out and catch up with their friends almost every day/night. But me? I'm a home person. I don't like going out except if my parents offer me a shopping spree. Even both my best friend and boyfriend know how much I hate going out without a solid reason. I don't like to go to a mamak restaurant and just eat and talk the whole night. No, that's definitely not my cup of tea. I refuse to go out and I guess that's why I'm lack of friends. I simply can't keep up. To those who have known me for long and stayed, that means they understand how my life is and they accept that about me, which I'm so thankful for.

But sometimes, I realized that it is good to go out, to meet your old friends. I mean, why not right? I've been sitting in a cocoon for long enough, now that I have my semester break, why not catch up with some of my old friends. It doesn't hurt to meet after so long. Honestly, I miss my friends. High school ones, during my foundation year friends as well as my college friends. I went out with my college friends before they went back to their hometown on Monday and I had a great time. But what I was so excited and nervous about was the reunion I was going to on Wednesday night.

I had a few problems with my high school friends and if anyone were to blame, it's me. When I was 16, I avoided my group of friends. The reason? Let it just be between my friends and I, but what you should know is, I regret it. Sure, I avoided them and I thought I can focus more on my studies if I did. Sure, I did focus more on my studies after all but I really really miss my friends. We used to do everything together and we even had this friendship book. Kind of like a burn book, you can say. I am no genius, unlike my friends in the group, they have the brain of Einstein! So I had to work harder than them in order to get the results I wanted. My friends can play around and still get A's by the end of the year. So I was so worried since I'm not as smart as them, so I thought avoiding them was a great idea. My mistake was avoiding them completely without explanation. So I guess it's just fair that the night I met them, they interrogated me about the past.

We were a group of 5. There's Iffah, Fatin, Shera, Fara and I. We're like inseparable during those days. But since I avoided them, I guess they hated me for doing that and I don't blame them. However, the night I met them was great. We talked and we brought the friendship books to just go through and read them together to reminisce the good old days. At a point, my nervousness vanished into thin air and I felt so comfortable with them, just like we used to be before. The thought of sharing so much secrets together back then and here we are now, almost 5 years later. And I thought, okay maybe they've forgiven me.

Well, I was wrong.

Before going back, they said that they have something to say and they need my explanation. I was so nervous, I thought they were going to yell to my face for what I did and storm out the door. But no, they asked me nicely why I did that to them and how we're adults now and we need to settle this thing hanging between us once and for all. So they started to ask me questions that I have no problem answering because I have nothing to hide but for some reason, I was nervous. I was scared that they'll never forgive me. I trembled while I talked and if they noticed, they didn't mention it. They just listen intently to what I had to say. I guess I really broke their hearts and I thought, "I'm ready to accept any brutal comments from them. After all, I deserve it".

I swear, never in my life it occur to me to hate them even a little bit. I've never hated them, ever. I didn't abandon them out of hate. It was just a problem I had with myself that I thought I couldn't do it if I stay friends with them. But now I know it was a mistake and they were kind enough to forgive me. Well, except for Shera, I think. I don't know. It was kind of hard to read her expression but I guess it's only logical for her to be the one who find it hardest to forgive me since I was the closest to her back then. I know I've hurt her feelings, and the rest. And I know there's nothing for me to do to make up to them but we're in good terms now (at least, I think so) and I felt relieved than ever. I felt like this huge weight I have been carrying around for so long had been lifted down my shoulders.

Right to left : Fara, Me, Shera, Iffah and Fatin

So to you 'Miszy Lelle' (it was our thing back then) girls, if you're reading this, from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry for what I've done and yes, I made a mistake. I should have explained to you girls long before this. I feel so lucky to have you girls forgive me. And thank you <3