February 21, 2011


I grew up in an environment where everyone hates me. No, I'm not being dramatic nor am I asking for sympathy. It's true, during my first 3 years of high school, I lived in my own life which consisted of my girlfriends and whoever I was crushing on at that time. And that's it. I didn't care what people think of us, I didn't care what the teachers have to say about us, I basically didn't care about anything except my pathetic life. Of course, at that time I thought my life was the coolest. My girls and I would strut the corridors in school like we own the school. And of course, everyone hated us. Maybe because we were too loud or maybe because we didn't mix around with other people. Who knows the exact reason but we knew we have the whole school hating on us but we couldn't care less. We really thought we were too cool for school but the fact is, we were so lame -____-

As I grow up, I started to realise why people hate us so much. We didn't care about other people's feelings and we did all kinds of things that will annoy normal people. I would hate me too, frankly speaking. If someone were to ask me why did I become that person back in high school, I would say that I was naive. I didn't know any better and I chose the wrong circle of friends. I'm still friends with one of them up until now, which is Fara. Yes, Fara used to be with us too but we both grew up to be someone sane and wise enough to leave it all behind us. Fara and I were so close to our families and I know that was the reason why we could pull ourselves back from that circle. Our families made us realise the things we did were stupid. So at 16, I chose my friends properly. I pushed away the girls that used to be apart of my life and boy it wasn't easy! We were too close back then, so they started to get confuse why I didn't talk to them anymore. Only Fara knew the truth. As much as it hurts, I had to. It's for my own good. I was kind of proud of myself that I can think wisely. Felt like a grown up already :p I started to be friends with people who take their studies seriously but can joke around at the same time. That was when I realised, I want to change to a better person.

So during my last 2 years of high school I got to cleaned my name among the teachers and students. Some of them got really weirded out by how much I've changed. I was so happy that I didn't have any haters! (Not that I know of at least!)

Until the day I created a Formspring account last year.

I created that account because Fara had one. I thought it'll be fun to answer all sorts of questions thrown at you. Wrong. Until today, I couldn't believe the fact that I still have haters even though I've changed, A LOT. If you compare me in high school and me right now, you'll have the shock of your life to see two very different people with the same physical appearance minus the extra kgs and skin tone(I was so fat and dark back then! Hee). I don't know where I gained these haters but I convinced myself that I was strong. No need to be a cry baby and whine about how I hate my life because someone hates me. Okay, fine. I admit I whined a little :p But Zahir woke me up and made me tougher. Not physically of course. I can't imagine myself with all those muscles..

Zahir made me tougher, mentally.

I dealt with those questions as if like I didn't whine about it before.

I was totally cool when I received this first hate mail.

But I lost my cool when they replied this. I can't tolerate people cursing like this. Grow up -___-

By the third question, I managed to laugh. I realised how stupid these people are, to waste their time criticising people just to make that person feel bad about themselves.

I'm so curious why would people make time for these things? Maybe they are jealous with your life, maybe they don't have a family as perfect as yours, maybe your house is bigger than theirs, maybe they don't have friends as caring as your friends. You know, it could be anything that you have that they don't. That's why they tend to make you feel so bad about yourself and your life because to their eyes, your life is perfect and their's are not. They want you to lose your confidence so that you wouldn't feel so good about your life. And it depends on the victim on whether or not they can survive all these criticisms, whether or not they can fight back and whether or not they can stand strong.

Because in life, people will always envy each other for what others have. Some of us have the courage to bring that person down (ie. that anonymous who attacked my Formspring) or we can carry on with our lives and work harder to achieve what we don't have. Because really, what good does it bring if you attack someone's life? What will you get from all the cursing? You won't be any richer, and you certainly won't get a raise from your boss. And the worst part is, they go as anonymous. So, your life is not perfect, you act like you're 6, you attack someone and you're a chicken too? Grow up and get real, haters. We know you feel bad about yourself but instead of making others feel bad about themselves too, why don't you push away the green eyed monster in you and make your life better.

So to those who've been attacked by anonymous, stay strong because know that they do that because your life is perfect to their eyes. And to those who don't think they can take criticism, don't create a Formspring account.

It's that simple.

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