September 15, 2010


I hadn't cry that hard for so long. I had the feeling I would maybe shed a few tears but a gazillion? Plus I was sobbing like a cow. Just couldn't control it. When my brother hugged me for the last time at the airport, I buried my face on his shoulder and whispered 'I'm sorry for everything' while I sobbed. And sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I wiped away the tears but they wouldn't stop. That was when I realised, wow I had disrespect and been rude to him all this while and I'm only realising this now? That's why people always say 'it takes loosing someone to appreciate someone'. I know I took him for granted and I regret it. I can't do anything to change the past but just now, all I could do was apologise and pray for his journey to be a safe one. It was hard seeing him leave. Almost everyone shed their tears, Mommy the most, obviously. I could see Daddy was about to cry but I guess he held it back. We missed him as soon as he boarded the plane.

After sending my brother, my family and my aunt's(+ Zhr) made plans. Supposedly to Nilai for Nasi Kandar but it was closed when we got there. So Daddy brought us all to Banting for Tom Yam. I didn't eat as I bought McDonald's earlier to eat in the car. Awish was with us and he was being so cute, like usual. I had to restrain myself from pinching his cheeks. After eating, my family and Zhr went to my cousin, Kak Eka's, house in Sepang while Awish's family went back to KL. While we were there at Kak Eka's place, my brother text me saying he just arrived in Taiwan for the transit. We text a few more texts and he had to go as the plane was boarding. Since we bid our farewell at the airport, I've been thinking about him nonstop. How we used to ride bicycles together every evening. How we used to share the laptop to online. How we used to share our toys. How he used to company me everywhere I go. How we were involve in each other's life so much that people envy our bond. I miss all that and I guess I just miss him already.

Spending the whole day with Zhr after a week of distance was amazing. Though we didn't do much, just follow around the family, I had fun. I don't know about him but I certainly love today. I just love when he's involve in my family gathering or outings. In a way, I feel closer to him. I was thinking too much today and realised that I will be with him for the rest of my life. Guaranteed. Why would I want to be with anyone else when the one in front of me is perfect? Speaking of Zhr, I'm going to tuck myself in bed now. He's going to call for our midnight talk. Sleep tight sweeties!

No comments: