Turning a Quarter Century Old with A Heart Attack

So this is how it feels like being old.

It feels like.... nothing.

Well, the difference is that I don't really wait for the clock to strike 12.00AM anymore. I didn't even care what time it was,  I needed my beauty sleep! I slept at 10PM the night before my birthday. I used to stay up late just to see if my family has a surprise planned for me and sometimes I stayed up late just to read all my friends' wishes on WhatsApp, Facebook and all the social medias I have. I have been pretty busy with work, my dissertation and my wedding preparation that I honestly almost forgot about my birthday. It wasn't until Fara texted me saying "Your birthday is in a few hours!". Then it hit me right it the face.

Why don't I care about my birthday anymore? Birthday used to be the biggest deal of my life. Birthdays are my thing. Now I started to think that birthdays are just birthdays. You have birthdays every year. What's so special about it?

WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. ME.

Is it because I'm old? I don't think so. So, why didn't I feel excited? I didn't even look forward to it, to be honest. Maybe because I was (still am) too busy with my life that I think there are so many other important things that I need to take care of that my own birthday seems like it's nothing. 

On the night before my birthday, I honestly didn't remember. I went to sleep at 10.30pm because I was so tired and I had a really bad day that day. One thing you have to know about me is that I always sleep earlier than usual when I had a rough day because I think sleeping it off is better than just staying up thinking about how bad the day had been. So I texted my fiancé good night and went to sleep without even waiting for his reply. 

I was in a deep sleep when someone knocked on my door. Was sleepy and grumpy, so I opened up the door with a growl. Saw my sister, Nina's panic face. Her hands were shaking and her eyes were wild. Something bad must have happened and all the grumpiness went away, replaced by worry. According to Nina, she saw someone, a shadow standing outside her bedroom window. She said she went into her room and went straight to the toilet but she saw a shadow through her white curtains. OMG, just writing about it made my heart thump right now. It was so scary to hear, but being the bigger sister, I had to show that I was brave to protect her. But I couldn't face that alone, so I dragged her to our parents room to call Dad. However, our Dad wasn't in the room. I heard the TV downstairs, so I knew he was downstairs watching the midnight news like he always does. So I had no choice but to wake Mom up and told her the whole thing. Mom face was shocked but the three of us tip-toed to Nina's room, which is just next to mine. I slowly pushed her door and there it was. 

A freaking shadow, just like how she described. Tall and buff. I imagined the person standing outside the window to be scary looking and have the baddest intention. 

My hands were shaking and I can hear my own heartbeat through my own ears, I'm not even kidding. 

"Thump. Thump. Thump."

Subtle knocks on the window.

My heart jumped. 

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to go to the window and see who was there and what did he/she want but I was too shaky and scared that the person had a weapon. So I told Nina to run downstairs to call our Dad while Mom and I stayed to make sure the person stays there. I hugged Mom while waiting for Dad. 

Dad came up with a torchlight and went straight to the window. He looked and said "maybe it was just a cat because there's no one here." My eyes widened and with a shaky voice, I told my Dad, "it couldn't be just a cat! We saw a tall shadow standing right there and the person even knocked on the window!". Confusion plastered on my Dad's face and he held his hand up, motioning to open the window. I ran to him and asked him to stop because I was scared that the person attacks him straight. As I ran to the window, I was too late. Dad already opened the window and I saw a hand reaching inside. I screamed, wanting to pull Dad when I saw pink balloons.... And curls.

Yeap, it was Amin.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE.

Seriously. What did I do to deserve such heart attack?!

When I said the shadow was tall and buff...

Well, I take that back.

More like tall and fluffy. Pftttttt.

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Meeting His Friends?!

Okay so this weekend it's all about meeting important people and being all nervous about it.

For both Amin (yes, guys we are calling him by his name now! Oh in case you're wondering, he's the new guy I talked about in this post) and I. 

Amin and I spent the whole day with my Mom for the first time on Friday. But my Mom was an easy stage to pass. He only had to make her laugh like a mad woman (which he is really good at. Making people laugh, I mean) and yeap, approved. Now Mom can't stop talking about him at home. Amin this.... Amin that..... 

Even I don't say his name that much. Pffffttttt.

On Saturday, he invited me to his friend's birthday party. I have all the reasons to be nervous about this one ;

1. These people have known him since he was that "naughty boy" in school. They practically grew up with him. Hence, they are the most important friends I need to get along with.

2. He told me this group of friends is really protective when it comes to who he's dating. 

3. Following to the previous point, there was an "incident" with the previous girl he was seeing and they were not really fond of her.

4. He was really serious when he told me that his friends wanted to inspect me and shoot me with questions before they decide whether they'll approve me or not.

5. NEED I SAY MORE????

So it's only logic that I want his most important friends to like me right??? I wasn't being paranoid okay??? 

When the day arrived, I wasn't nervous. Pfffttt not at all! *roll eyes* One of his friends said she can feel my body shaking when she took a picture with me. Yea guys, that's how not nervous I am....

FINE.

I WAS TERRIFIED OKAY?! There I said it. I was nervous because I really don't want his friends to disapprove me. Their opinions matter a lot, so of course I want to make a good impression. Anyway, everything turned out fine despite all the drama I had in my head prior to meeting them. They are the most relaxed and funniest people to hang around with. But Amin certainly did not exaggerate when he told me they will inspect me with questions. 

"Where did you meet Amin?"

"How did you meet him?"

"How did he work his charm on you?"

"How did you fall in love with him?"

"Where did you graduate from?"

"What major did you take?"

"Where are you working right now?"

"What's your plan for the future?"

"Where's Amin's mole?" (I really don't know the answer to this and never thought of it but I'm curious to find out....)

And the list goes on and on.

But the most simple but interesting question : "If you really love Amin, what does he like?"

My answer?

"He likes me."

They all went "Woahhhh" and gave me a full 100 points for that one. No more questions asked. Hehe.

Phewwww, stage one ; PASSED. *wipe sweat off my forehead*

Some of the pictures his friends uploaded with the sweetest captions ☺️

Sunday night on the other hand, it was his turn to be nervous. I've been planning to bring my family out for dinner along with Amin. Since my little brother is back from his boarding school this week, I figured why not do it this weekend. Amin passed the Mom level. Now it's the DadBrotherSister level, which explains why he was so nervous. I enjoyed seeing him nervous though because he made me nervous the day before. Hehe.

However, Amin is not the kind of person who shows his nervousness.

"Are you nervous to see my family tonight, baby?"

"Of course I am! It's your family!"

But that night, his face was as cheerful as always. He chatted the night away with everyone at the table. He made his usual jokes and made us laugh. 

Nervous? Yeah right 😒

His meet up with my family was a boring one to tell because there was no drama at all.  Everything was easy for him. BOOOHHH-RINGGGG *yawn*

I'm still thankful that all the ice breaking sessions this weekend went so well!

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Hello, Real Life!

When you were in primary school or high school, have you ever expected your life is going to turn out exactly like how it has turned out right now? Is the life you're living now the life you expected to live from the start? Is the life you're living now is the life you wished to live since you were younger?

I'm pretty sure 99% of the answers will be a big fat NO.

As I grew older, I realized that not everything will turn out as planned or as expected. Planning and dreaming about the future seems so easy to do but to make everything you dreamed of actually happen.... Not so. That's why I have given up planning the future so precisely because I know it won't turn out like I want it to be. I just focus on my goals now and aiming to achieve it instead of having everything mapped out in front of me. After all, life is an adventure. It's good to have life goals and strategies to achieve them but you can't really control everything and everyone in your life.

I turned 23 last Saturday and man, do I feel old. It might not sound as bad to some of you but to me, 23 is an age where I can announce to the world that I am officially "old". What more when I have actually started working. That certainly make me feel older. Talking about work, it had never crossed my mind that I will be in the real estate industry. Let me repeat. N-E-V-E-R. As a little kid, I never really dreamed of being the doctor, the engineer or the lawyer like most of kids my age wanted to be. Believe it or not, every time people ask me what I want to be when I grow up. My answer was "A Cashier". Reason? Simply because I love plastics and paper bags. Not to mention the cash counters/machines. I've always loved and dreamed to be a cashier at any stores so I can play with the cash machines. My love for the cash machine was so true that my Dad bought me a white and pink Barbie cash machine so I can play and live my 'dream' to be a cashier. LOL. I sure dream big, don't I? Hahahaha.

Okay you can stop laughing at me now.

As I grew, my dream career changed. When I was in the first half of my high school years, I was determined and sure that I want to be a teacher. I want to teach English, just like my Mom. That was when I started writing on my blog because I know it will improve my English if I start writing. That was also when I discovered that I really love writing. I started my own "book". Not like a proper book for everyone to read, of course. Just something I write, sort of like a novel but a personal one. No, it's not a journal or a diary or anything like that, in case you're wondering. I didn't write about my life but I imagine being someone else and created the whole story myself. I really fell in love with writing because it's something that I know I'm in control and I'm in charge of the whole story line. I can write whatever crap that comes to mind and it's okay because I invented the story. I am in charge of the characters. I am the story.

But then after a while, I thought that I don't want to be a teacher because it's hard to have that big responsibility of teaching people's children and making sure the knowledge you pass on to the students are the best you can give. Being a teacher is hard work, believe me. Most people I know look at teachers like they are nothing but I have lived with a teacher all my life. Trust me when I say, they are the ones who always get underestimation from people. To me, being a teacher is the sincerest job anyone could be and I will always respect teachers as without teachers, we wouldn't even know how to count to 10, we wouldn't even know how to spell "Apple" for the first time and we wouldn't even know the history. I have seen my Mom get upset and worried whenever her students did very bad in their tests. I have also seen my Mom got so excited to think of something for her students to learn a different way by teaching them outdoors. There was this one time, she asked her students to bring their own food and drinks from home for a 'study picnic' under the tree at school. I told her, "how come my teachers have never done this for us when I was in primary?". Seeing my Mom being a teacher made me want to be a teacher too, so that was why I applied to be a French language teacher after I graduated high school. I did well for the interview but my heart told me that wasn't it. That career is not the path I want to take. So I accepted the offer from University of Malaya instead, to do a one year foundation in Built Environment. At that time, I knew it was a risk to take because if I fail, I would have to start all over again from Diploma and I will be behind everyone else in my batch. Also, it wasn't like I know what "Built Environment" means at that time. I just went with the flow. After I learned what Built Environment is all about, I was aiming to be an Architect. I couldn't be so sure because I was in the University, so I thought... "hey, I'm 18 and I'm in college. I don't think I will every change my ambition again." Well, guess what?

It changed. Again.

After passing my Foundation, Alhamdulillah, I got accepted in University of Malaya for my Degree as well. During my first year in Real Estate, I realized I gravitate more towards a few subjects like Law, Marketing & Sales. I hated (and still hate) subjects like Valuation, Investments or Construction.

Fast forward four years, I am now done with my Degree in Real Estate and I am working now. In Agency & Marketing Department at a very awesome Real Estate company and I couldn't be more blessed. I am so happy and honored to be offered a job there even before I finished my internship. All those 4 years of Degree are definitely worth it because look at where it got me. I am 23 and turning into a new chapter in my life. I know this part of my life will be the hardest because this is when I have the responsibility towards my own life, my work, my achievements and a lot of other things too. This is the part where my parents can let go of me financially and in other aspects too for me to think what's best for myself and not be too dependant on them. Another step towards real life and I'm going to be honest with you, I'm nervous and scared as hell because this is the beginning of my real life.

Something that my Mom said on the night of my birthday made me cry :

"Please stop growing up, baby. Stop here. I don't want you to grow up anymore."

I just hugged her and told her that as much as I don't want to grow up-too, this is the time when I need to grow up and learn. It's time for me to take care of her and Dad instead of the other way around.

So, guys. Wish me luck on this new journey of mine.

Bismilahirrahmannirahim.

Eid With Ayeen 2014 #5 : Hospital & Banana Leaf Rice!

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Eid With Ayeen 2014 #4 : Groceries, Cats & Pizzas

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Eid With Ayeen 2014 #2 | Selamat Hari Raya!

Selamat Hari Raya, everyone!!!

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Eid With Ayeen 2014 #1 | Chili's, Mall & OOTD

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TEDxYouth KL 2013

I love going to motivational talks or self development workshops or anything relatively close to that. If you don't know what TED is, it's basically a non profit organization that organizes conferences that gather inspirational speakers to spread their ideas and experiences towards success. In life, in business, entertainment, technology and just about anything. I love the idea of TED because it definitely inspires and motivates people around the world, especially youths. Like me. I found TED talks to be very useful and entertaining because it doesn't just focus on one thing only. It's not always boring and all "business". Although I'm not implying that business is a boring thing but you know what I mean. TED talks include people from different backgrounds, successful in their own ways. Starting up their businesses, failed and didn't give up, people who came out with an innovation to improve lives, people who fight for the environment or animals, even people in the entertainment industry, who work through days and nights just to produce something for the society to enjoy during their leisure time. You know, all these people are very inspiring. So to witness their talks right in front of my own eyes was one of the best moments in my life. I always watch TED talks on my phone (you can download the TED app in the AppStore!) while having my breakfast, every day. I don't know about you, but other than exercising and eating healthy breakfast in the morning, I find that watching inspirational videos and reading motivational books before starting my day can really make the rest of my day better. I am more enthusiastic and motivated to go through the day and do productive activities throughout the day when I started the day with a combination of exercising, good breakfast and talks or videos in the morning. You should try that too, if you want to change the way you look at things in your daily lives. I assure you, you'll be more positive than ever! Include that as your New Year's resolution if you want. After all, I once read that a simple action can change everything.

Back to TED. 

On November 16th 2013, my brother and I attended the TEDxYouth in KL. My brother sponsored me the ticket because he knows how badly I wanted to go. The tickets were only RM50.00, but to have someone pay for me is way better. Haha. It was held at the Penthouse @ The Icon near Jalan Ampang. My brother and I played safe by taking the train to the venue because we didn't want to get stuck in the crazy traffic. 

We had our breakfast after registering at this little cafe just opposite The Icon called Danielle's. They have awesome American Brownies is all I can say because that was the only thing I had. But the cafe's ambiance is really nice. Sort of like a chill atmosphere. 

Before we were allowed to go in the hall for the conference to start, my brother and I went around and met new people. It was just so amazing of how these people are so successful and I like talking to them because they all have this positive energy that I can feel surrounding the whole place. 

Oh and I also met one of my juniors from high school and he was a volunteer for TEDxYouth! How cool is that?!

Some of the speakers were Razif Hashim (an Actorpreneur), Azim Hulaimi (Co-founder of Mira Digital & Visual Effect Artist, was apart of the making of Life of Pi), JinnyBoy (Youtuber & Radio DJ), Gajen Nad ( A standup comedian), Dr. Clarence Tan (Ambassador of Singularity University), Dr. Lovisa (A Marine Biologist), Yit Ming (Co-Founder of Soft Space), Christian BPalencia (A Barefoot Musician) and my most favourite speakers that day, Joyce (Founder of Otak Otak) and Li Kheng Phng (A business Extraordinaire). All the speakers gave amazing speeches, I must say. Truly inspiring! 

I know this is really late, but I want to thank my brother again for sponsoring me the ticket and going there with me. I'm really lucky to have a brother who always support me in everything I do and share the same visions and interests as me. I love you, Abang! *blowskisses*

#EidWithAyeen : Follow Me Around Day 3!

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#EidWithAyeen : Follow Me Around Day 2!

#EidWithAyeen : Follow Me Around Day 1!

#EidWithAyeen : First Day of Eid/Raya OOTD!

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♥ MUSIC BY BENJY'S SILVER BULLETS (HIS LINKS!)

Song : Memory Lane

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TAG : My Brother Does My Make Up!!

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The Chubby Bunny Challenge!!

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Best of Both World Tag! With Nina ✿

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If you want to make this tag with your sister, best friend, brother or anyone close to you, the questions are listed down below and don't forget to leave your video as a video response!! 

QUESTIONS :

Questions:

When is your birthday? What's the age difference?

Who are your siblings?

Are you single or in a relationship?

What's your favorite music?

What do you see your future career being?

What is your ethnicity/nationality?

What is your favorite color?

Do you fight a lot?

Describe each other using three words?

Who takes the most amount of time to get ready?

Favorite movies?

What do you like to do together?

What is one thing that you have learned from each other?

What videos/youtubers do you enjoy watching?

Do you miss each other when you don't see each other for a while?

Favorite snacks?

Do you live together? If not, how far away from each other do you live?

Do you share clothes and/or makeup?

Do you like to go shopping together?

Favorite TV shows?

Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Do you have any nicknames that you call each other by?

How would you describe each other's style?

Youtubers mentioned :

www.youtube.com/macbarbie07

www.youtube.com/meghanrosette

www.youtube.com/beautybaby44

www.youtube.com/beyondbeautystar

www.youtube.com/lolufullyloaded

www.youtube.com/sweetbeautyx

www.youtube.com/edbassmaster

www.youtube.com/romanatwoot

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Twenty Thirteen

Happy New Year guys!!!! How did you celebrate last night?

I've never been the type who goes out or celebrates New Year. I just don't celebrate because to me it's not necessary. Yes, it's a new year and it's the time where I should start fresh and everything. But I guess I'm more of the type who sits at home, reminiscing how the past years had been and what I'm aiming for the future. More often that not, I will realize all my mistakes and the things I did that might have hurt someone on NYE. Maybe because thinking about the past made me realize about a lot of things.  But that's how I do it, other people have other ways of celebrating the New Year. One way or the other, I hope you guys had the best time of your lives celebrating last night.

I spent my New Year in the car, on the way to Kuantan to send my brother off to his boarding school. And my family and I spent the first few minutes of 2013 worrying about our car because the battery was overcharged or something, and the car transmitted this really awful smell. It was really bad, it smelled like battery water and some kind of a gas, if that makes any sense.. but seriously, I almost choked. But Alhamdulillah, we're back home now. Even though we had to wind down our window the whole journey back home (yeap, the whole six hours) and we had to stop every half an hour, we still survived. My hair was all haywire when we arrived.. but that's fine. Hehe.

This year, I have so many memories, both good and bad but it's time to let go of the mistakes I've done, cherish the good memories and start the new year with positive vibes. You know, it's a good thing to have the wake up call every new year. I'm so thankful for a lot of things in 2012 ; the life that Allah has given me. With every breath I take, I have Allah to thank for giving me the chance to live in this world surrounded by all the prospers He gave. My family who has always been there for me, despite the things I did in the past. My boyfriend, who has always accept me for who I am and has always been my number one supporter in everything I do. My cat, who has always been there for me to listen even though he can't talk but I'm pretty sure he understands what I say and he most probably replied me in his heart. And my girlfriends who I mentioned in my previous post, they are just an amazing group of loyal and the most sincere people I know. 

Want to know what my New Year resolutions are? Well, I only have one, actually.
To not have a list of resolutions.
Want to know why? 
Because not a single thing will be crossed out on the list by December 31st 2013.. Or ever. So why bother? Haha.

Anyway, I would like to wish all of you who's reading this post, YES, YOU. Happy New Year and I wish all of you to have an amazing and blessed year ahead of you. May God bless you with all the prospers and happiness. Let go of your mistakes and start to look at the future, try to change to be a better person. And to my Muslim friends and readers, I hope we all, including myself will grow to be a better Muslim as the years pass by, InsyaAllah.