Hello, Real Life!

When you were in primary school or high school, have you ever expected your life is going to turn out exactly like how it has turned out right now? Is the life you're living now the life you expected to live from the start? Is the life you're living now is the life you wished to live since you were younger?

I'm pretty sure 99% of the answers will be a big fat NO.

As I grew older, I realized that not everything will turn out as planned or as expected. Planning and dreaming about the future seems so easy to do but to make everything you dreamed of actually happen.... Not so. That's why I have given up planning the future so precisely because I know it won't turn out like I want it to be. I just focus on my goals now and aiming to achieve it instead of having everything mapped out in front of me. After all, life is an adventure. It's good to have life goals and strategies to achieve them but you can't really control everything and everyone in your life.

I turned 23 last Saturday and man, do I feel old. It might not sound as bad to some of you but to me, 23 is an age where I can announce to the world that I am officially "old". What more when I have actually started working. That certainly make me feel older. Talking about work, it had never crossed my mind that I will be in the real estate industry. Let me repeat. N-E-V-E-R. As a little kid, I never really dreamed of being the doctor, the engineer or the lawyer like most of kids my age wanted to be. Believe it or not, every time people ask me what I want to be when I grow up. My answer was "A Cashier". Reason? Simply because I love plastics and paper bags. Not to mention the cash counters/machines. I've always loved and dreamed to be a cashier at any stores so I can play with the cash machines. My love for the cash machine was so true that my Dad bought me a white and pink Barbie cash machine so I can play and live my 'dream' to be a cashier. LOL. I sure dream big, don't I? Hahahaha.

Okay you can stop laughing at me now.

As I grew, my dream career changed. When I was in the first half of my high school years, I was determined and sure that I want to be a teacher. I want to teach English, just like my Mom. That was when I started writing on my blog because I know it will improve my English if I start writing. That was also when I discovered that I really love writing. I started my own "book". Not like a proper book for everyone to read, of course. Just something I write, sort of like a novel but a personal one. No, it's not a journal or a diary or anything like that, in case you're wondering. I didn't write about my life but I imagine being someone else and created the whole story myself. I really fell in love with writing because it's something that I know I'm in control and I'm in charge of the whole story line. I can write whatever crap that comes to mind and it's okay because I invented the story. I am in charge of the characters. I am the story.

But then after a while, I thought that I don't want to be a teacher because it's hard to have that big responsibility of teaching people's children and making sure the knowledge you pass on to the students are the best you can give. Being a teacher is hard work, believe me. Most people I know look at teachers like they are nothing but I have lived with a teacher all my life. Trust me when I say, they are the ones who always get underestimation from people. To me, being a teacher is the sincerest job anyone could be and I will always respect teachers as without teachers, we wouldn't even know how to count to 10, we wouldn't even know how to spell "Apple" for the first time and we wouldn't even know the history. I have seen my Mom get upset and worried whenever her students did very bad in their tests. I have also seen my Mom got so excited to think of something for her students to learn a different way by teaching them outdoors. There was this one time, she asked her students to bring their own food and drinks from home for a 'study picnic' under the tree at school. I told her, "how come my teachers have never done this for us when I was in primary?". Seeing my Mom being a teacher made me want to be a teacher too, so that was why I applied to be a French language teacher after I graduated high school. I did well for the interview but my heart told me that wasn't it. That career is not the path I want to take. So I accepted the offer from University of Malaya instead, to do a one year foundation in Built Environment. At that time, I knew it was a risk to take because if I fail, I would have to start all over again from Diploma and I will be behind everyone else in my batch. Also, it wasn't like I know what "Built Environment" means at that time. I just went with the flow. After I learned what Built Environment is all about, I was aiming to be an Architect. I couldn't be so sure because I was in the University, so I thought... "hey, I'm 18 and I'm in college. I don't think I will every change my ambition again." Well, guess what?

It changed. Again.

After passing my Foundation, Alhamdulillah, I got accepted in University of Malaya for my Degree as well. During my first year in Real Estate, I realized I gravitate more towards a few subjects like Law, Marketing & Sales. I hated (and still hate) subjects like Valuation, Investments or Construction.

Fast forward four years, I am now done with my Degree in Real Estate and I am working now. In Agency & Marketing Department at a very awesome Real Estate company and I couldn't be more blessed. I am so happy and honored to be offered a job there even before I finished my internship. All those 4 years of Degree are definitely worth it because look at where it got me. I am 23 and turning into a new chapter in my life. I know this part of my life will be the hardest because this is when I have the responsibility towards my own life, my work, my achievements and a lot of other things too. This is the part where my parents can let go of me financially and in other aspects too for me to think what's best for myself and not be too dependant on them. Another step towards real life and I'm going to be honest with you, I'm nervous and scared as hell because this is the beginning of my real life.

Something that my Mom said on the night of my birthday made me cry :

"Please stop growing up, baby. Stop here. I don't want you to grow up anymore."

I just hugged her and told her that as much as I don't want to grow up-too, this is the time when I need to grow up and learn. It's time for me to take care of her and Dad instead of the other way around.

So, guys. Wish me luck on this new journey of mine.

Bismilahirrahmannirahim.