September 21, 2016

Getting Engaged to the Love of My Life

I'm pretty sure most of you know this but to those who don't, I'm officially engaged to Amin. Remember him in this post?

I got engaged in April, so that's like 5 months ago but I left my blog for so long that I always procrastinate writing a post because truth be told, I think I've lost the ability to write. Everyone can write but a few can write an interesting post. And I think I've done a pretty good job in the past (self praise is no praise, I'm aware haha but I'm just saying I can at least get some of you to read my blog in the past, so that must mean something...) but then I don't know what happened. When I logged in my blogger account and clicked on the "new post" tab, I blanked. I couldn't write a single sentence!

However, I think I'm slowly getting back on track now. Hence why I'm updating you guys on my engagement! My blog readers have been here since the first day, so you guys definitely deserve an update. This post will be solely about the man I agreed to and how it all started. The preparation and the day itself on the other hand will be in separate posts because they all deserve their own posts. 

Amin was a friend whom I always see as friendly, funny, talkative, very helpful and can be friends with everyone (which brings out the jealous side of me multiple times. Hehe). Never have I expected that he'd be this important to me, that he'll be the love of my life and my future husband. Alhamdulillah, I am so grateful that Allah blessed me with a guy like him because he can guide me and complements me like no one ever could. I've been in love before but not even one person has made me feel the way Amin does. It just feels easy with him, like everything is smooth and there's just no dramas with him. I also find myself respecting him and that means a lot if you know me. It's not like I don't respect people, but I tend to overrule my partner in my past relationship. I know it's not good but I still did it anyway and I realized that I was such a bad girlfriend. I don't know why and how to explain, but with other guys, I don't feel like they can guide me.

It all started so sudden with Amin. We were just a couple of friends, only saw each other when our group decided to hang out. We never really had time alone, always surrounded by our group of friends. So I don't really know why or how this friendship was triggered into something more than just friends. But what I remembered is that Amin asked me out casually one day but I turned him down. Wasn't proud of it but I used to be this career oriented girl, where I only think about my work and nothing else. I guess that was how I got over my previous relationship; by working my head off. I wake up at 4am every weekday, drove to office by 6am and work until like 8pm or 9pm. That was my daily routine. On weekends on the other hand, I had exhibitions most of the weekends so that means I work from morning till night on weekends too. My dad told me once that I had no life, no friends. I also had this principle which I still hold on to, never go out alone with a guy if you are not interested in the guy. Well, I didn't even give my mind or heart to think about how I feel about this guy and I turned him down because my priority was my job, job and job.

After that "rejection", Amin kept on texting me telling me things about his interests, his daily life and his family. At first I wasn't interested, to be honest. I was not thinking too much about it and only reply when I had the time to actually sit down and go through my messages on my phone, which was usually close to midnight when I was about to go to sleep.

And then, one day. he asked me out again. I already tendered my resignation to my MD by that time and was feeling carefree. So I decided to consider it. By "consider" I mean asking people whether or not I should say yes to this date. There was just something about the way he asked this time that made me feel like I needed to say yes. He actually asked properly instead of his first "Where are you now? I'm at The Curve. Let's hang out". This time, he was way more proper and direct with "Are you free next week? I wanna bring you out on a proper date". I did NOT melt with his words, mind you. I was taken aback with how direct he was. So I asked some of my close friends whether I should say yes and most said yes with the reason "You work all the freaking time. We hardly see you have fun and be happy anymore after your ex. Doesn't hurt to try." By this time, I was 80% sure I would say yes.

I knew my Mom would be the answer to all this doubt. So I asked my Mom. She said I should just try to  go on this date to see if he's really genuine about wanting to know me better. I always believe mothers know best. And I was damn right about trusting my mom's instinct.

It's been almost two years and Amin never fails to make me laugh. Every single time. Even when I am upset about him or something else, he always managed to make me laugh. And that is what matters to me. A guy who completes me, who can guide me, keeps me grounded, keeps reminding me about the real world and brings out the best in me. I am so grateful that Allah has crossed our paths.

Now we are engaged and getting married in less than two months.

I'm so nervous, excited, anxious and everything else I cannot even put in words.

May Allah ease this journey for us, InsyaAllah.

This is such a sappy post but I couldn't help myself. My engagement preparations will be in the next engagement post and I promise you that post will be more cheerful than this one. Stay tuned!

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